How sad is it that the only thing we’re guilty of is being women?

In an age where women are more inclined to exercise their rights, it is high time we break free from the gilded chains that have bound our beliefs to needless patriarchy. Having lived through a history of being subjected to the male gaze, objectified, and reduced to nothing more than a doormat that caters to the needs of nearly everyone but themselves, women are more than capable, they have always been, and they always will be.

As a child, it has always baffled me how female children are groomed by their own mothers and grandmothers to be up to par with the standards that satisfy the male gaze. I would throw tantrums in the early mornings before school because I find my pigtails too tight, while my mother would yank at my hair and berate me for doing so. I had to alter my appearance and attitude according to what was considered to be appropriate and acceptable for male validation. I was coerced into wearing clothes I find uncomfortable because it was thought to be conventionally pretty. I was told to laugh with grace and plasticity because my boisterous and “barbaric” laughter would chase potential suitors away. In the moments that I was slowly finding myself, exploring styles, and dressing up to feel pretty– I still felt objectified because it seems that other people took this as a sign that I was only working on improving my appearance to appease the male gaze. Why can’t women be pretty for themselves? Why is it that us dressing up automatically means that we’re trying to please anyone other than ourselves?

In my years of being born female, I can’t help but question every situation that has befallen me, as if every little thing has a double meaning hidden behind its unassuming facade. Even the simple act of learning house chores seems to be credited as more of a requirement for a housewife, rather than a necessary set of skills that enables one to be able to sustain and fend for themselves in the events that they consider living independently. Women are reduced to dolled-up robots that function solely for bearing most, if not all, of the domestic responsibility, and are robbed of fundamental human rights that they deserve. Women are excluded in debatable conversations at the table, told to hush down and bow their heads and nod politely, heed every word uttered from the mouths of their opposite. For years and years, women have grown used to baking a cake in the eye of the storm, to feeding themselves sugar on the cusp of danger, in hopes of extinguishing the scalding flames of baseless misogyny directed upon their very existence. The existing gender biases that label women as inferior, overtly emotional, and indecisive persist up to this day, and sadly enough, it is the past generation of resilient women who have taught their successors this set of unjust principles.

I recall a conversation I had with one of our elderly helpers just a week ago, we were discussing politics and the looming conflicts that the upcoming elections have precipitated. I had asked her who among the presidential candidates did she find promising, and she looked at me with confusion and chuckled in my direction. She had refused to answer my inquiry, opting to continue on with her tasks to refute my question, saying that she was still undecided because back then, her now-deceased husband would make the decision for her. When I told her that she was free to make the decision independently now, she only raised her brow at me and told me that women had no such place in politics, and it has always been like that. I was perplexed, the words that slithered past her lips rendering me speechless. It was quite disheartening that someone with a history of being as independent and as wonderful as her would belittle the rights of her and her fellow women as well.

Women belong to the table as much as men do, our voices and opinions matter and contribute to the conversation just as much as well. Although the patriarchal superstructure has coerced us into feigning naive and stifled innocence, has urged us into keeping our heads bowed to avoid being faulted for things we cannot control, the voice of women resonates with strength and significance at every epoch, catalyzing change and breaking the stigma at every turn. Our existence is powerful, and our survival highlights the sacrifices and efforts of the brilliant women of our past. We mustn't let the travails of our predecessors be stomped by the bigoted patriarchal system that persists up to now. Let us exist loudly, vehemently, and unapologetically; for a woman’s worth and the place isn’t limited to domesticity, she is bound to no one and nowhere. A woman’s place lies where her heart decides it should be, she cowers not in the face of haughty men and their shallow pedestals. She who has a history of wars inside her mustn’t blanch at the thought of shady politics, for she is the revolution herself.

Throughout the course of history, women have had to fight tooth and nail for the rights that they deserve. They have learned to settle for the bare minimum and grit their teeth through a plethora of unconventional and compromising situations. Now, albeit little by little, women are building new empires out of ruins and debris, free to feel powerful in a world that isn’t compromised by the ownership and lack of privilege bestowed upon them by past prejudices and patriarchal beliefs. Now, nearly all of us are granted the freedom to take up as much space as we allow ourselves to do so, to exist in vivid colors that are aggressive, vigorous, and madly ambitious. To end this piece, I would like to quote a notable line as said by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil in her book Women Enough and Other Essays, “A woman has no limit to her intelligence or her capabilities. She will rise to every challenge, time after time, tirelessly and magnificently. She will take on the world on her shoulders, even when she does not have to.”