Living and breathing in an age where everything seems to move at a rapid pace, could it be that we've found ourselves immersed at the wrong side of haven?

One thing that has always baffled me is how most of the kids of my generation obsess over and fancy an era that they haven't even lived through, caught up in daydreams of existing as an old soul in this spellbinding age of new. However, I find that this "romanticization of the past" isn't anchored down to our pre-existence but leads up to the early stages of our childhood, and even up to our pre-pandemic lives as well. Especially in today's setup, I find that it is relatively easy to catch ourselves taking a trip down memory lane, reminiscing as soon as some sort of paraphernalia sparks a distinct recollection of the past. So why exactly do we settle for the past when more pages are left unturned that concern the future?

Unlike the future, the past is more malleable and is already fixed than the present. Although curiosity is an admirable and existing trait that we all possess, there is no denying the creeping feeling of dread that looms over us like a dark cloud because of the foreboding future’s uncertainties. We tend to fear what we do not know, which prompts us to preoccupy our minds with the vignettes of memories from the past.

The past serves as our very own place of solace, for it is a patchwork of things we've grown fond of as we grow older. It seems safer because it is something set in stone. The future is a catalyst for change, and some of us turn a blind eye to the fact that change is a constant element present in our existence here on earth. They cage themselves in memory bubbles composed of butterfly wings, silently hoping for a future that treats them with kindness despite the obscure present we face today.

It is gratifying to perceive the past with rose-tinted glasses, with our memories stained pink with happiness, seemingly better than it really was. It doesn't necessarily mean that our own memories aren't "true," but there's a common misconception that memories are accurate records of the past, labeled and sorted out in our minds, waiting to be restored. We may be unconscious of it, but we nitpick bits and pieces of our past that elicit positive emotions as a coping mechanism for the unfavorable circumstances we have gone through at the same time. Looking back, you can rewind and replay your fondest memories on repeat in vivid detail; you can paint over the parts you don't like and let the blithe moments bleed into each other to form a mural that is uniquely yours for safekeeping. We restore and preserve what is good, tricking our minds until we assume it is the norm.

Perhaps we praise the past so much because it is our own definition of perfection. Combining my previous insights, you can already put two and two together; it all revolves around fear and uncertainty. The past had done; it had finished, is unchanging and is untouchable. The future is an impossible array of train tracks that overlap and branch out to different paths that we can only try to get a grasp of by being a passenger and braving the adventure out ourselves. In the present, we are the author and hero of our own book. We decide our happy endings by living through every fleeting moment and critically thinking through making every decision with only a vague idea of what comes right after.

When all is said and done, nostalgia isn't as picture-perfect as we make it out to be. To put it plainly, I find it rather horrific how it tricks us with mismatched pieces of daydreams with just the right amount of truth to hinder us from breaking out of its winding mirage. The uncertainty that goes hand in hand with facing the future intimidates many. Hence, why they romanticize their previous memories to reassure themselves that they'll move past their current hurdles too? Because somewhere in time, throughout the ages, the past was once both the present and the future as well.

However, why should we settle for the past when the inevitable future offers so much more? The world is frequently ruthless, and our existence is ephemeral; we must make things lovely where we can. To find joy in the most mundane of moments and give meaning to something that others deem unworthy is an essential component to life that we miss because we're too busy fretting over the future instead of enjoying the present that gives rise to a kinder tomorrow.