Imaginative, innovative, visionary, unorthodox, trendsetter, avant-garde, and go-getter; we could go on and on with the words used to associate with a creative person. These folks have been constantly commended for their contrivances. Furthermore, others have embarked on their path without a support system. They appear only once when you bear fruit, undetectable when you need a nudge of encouragement.
When a child makes a progressive move at such a young age, they are often projected to be a genius when they grow up. Their families would label them as a “child wonder,” a prodigy. The question of whether creativity is hereditary or something that can be learned throughout one’s life has come upon occasion all over the years. Whereas in some parts of the world, others chew over whether it is a blessing or a curse.
It feels rather satisfying to be able to carry out a notion flawlessly. We are pleased with our work and ourselves. After a long, exhausting day of staring at your device’s screens, accomplishing your tasks, and remaining stationary in one position, one would pat themselves on the back. Your gaze is drawn away to check the time. It is getting late; perhaps you should get some rest. As you rummage your refrigerator at 1:12 a.m., hoping to find a snack as a reward. You realize you are done for the day as you try to take a piece of your chocolate bar; this is the point at which you may say, “I am finally finished!” At last, you can now do your skincare regimen and flop yourself into bed. However, some have been grinding for days on the other side of the street and yet cannot seem to quit. Ideas do not stop flowing, forcing them to rearrange their work over and over again.
“I’d say I’ve never [officially] finished an oeuvre in my life. I feel awful for its characters and their erratic storylines, may it be a poem that I kept on reshuffling its lines or a book that never sees the light of day. I don’t prolong my commissions. It’s just like, [I feel that] my mind is asking me to add, amend, or delete a section [in my projects] and methodize. I constantly modify my work.” An anonymous interviewee, who prefers to be known as Ran, a cursed creative, begins her narrative.
She described it as never-ending torture—a bunch of flickering lightbulbs that overheat when ignored as she tries to rewire the previous ones. “I seem like a bloodthirsty vampire. It never sated my hunger, no matter how much I consumed, no matter how many [factors] I added,” she continued.
“The hardest part is it is taking up all my time. There are a bunch of elements and font styles just floating around when I am making an infographic. Sometimes, a certain scene would pop up during editing, which is another idea I wish to come up with sooner. And there I am, sitting in front of my computer, furrowed brows, aggravated, hoping my thoughts would stop. Pause for a moment. Quit whispering. Stop generating ideas while I work to make the preceding suggestions a reality. One thing is certain: those deadlines helped me as it served as a constant reminder that I need to stop or else I won’t get anything done.” Ran described in detail when I asked her what the most challenging part of being “cursed” with creativity was.
I discovered how she could cope as we spoke and spent an afternoon together.
She sets a target date for herself, separated from the actual deadline. Ran adheres to her main objective and gives her mind the freedom to “go ballistic,” she quipped. And on the last day, she forbids herself from making adjustments to her assignment.
Another thing to remember is to not stare at the result for too long. Ran is aware that she overlooks specific components and minor details every once in a while. From time to time, thoughts like, “Baka mas mataas pa ang grade na makukuha pag talagang pinerfect ko, pero nakakabaliw na talaga,” would pester her every time she passed her papers. It has become a battle between her grades and sanity, and she chose the latter.
Last but not least, she is grateful for her friends. Ran delivers a sample for them to evaluate her work. I believe that the only validation you need should come from yourself–regardless of your looks, how you carry yourself, or your work (constructive criticisms aside). Others, on the other hand, require assurance. They need someone to believe in them so that they can start to believe in themselves. A plaudit from a friend may appear simple at first glance, yet its impact may brighten one’s day.
When things get tough, remember to take a break before you break. Humans are nearly like machines: they work, operate, and perform well when adequately fueled and catered to. However, once damaged and overworked, it becomes squeaky and busted. And when weariness sets in, getting back on track becomes more difficult no matter how goal-oriented you are.
As our meeting came to a close, I asked her to say a few final words. “I’d like to keep it blank,” she declined, claiming that her brain would surely chastise her. As she sleeps tonight, a sea of “you should have” will drown her if she grants my request—the pinnacle of how daunting the mind of someone cursed with creativity can be.